A secret to doing hard things

A couple summers ago, I joined a small band of misfits on an adventure.

Our goal: hike for 24 hours straight.

No sleep, no sitting down and no watches (so we'd never know how much longer we had to go).

It was August in the Southeast.

Sometime in the early evening, a friend snapped this picture of me during a quick break.

This is the look of pain.

We were likely around 14 hours into the adventure, and it was starting to get hard.

I noticed something interesting.

Every one of us was suffering in some way, but some people were handling it far better than others. "What's the difference here?" I thought.

It wasn't fitness (everyone was fit).
It wasn't toughness (everyone was tough).
It wasn't skill (there was nothing technical about the terrain).

The difference was where one put their focus.

People who handled the pain well were outward-focused.

They looked for ways to help. They spoke life into people. They served someone else in some small way. They did not dwell on how bad they felt. They kept moving.

The people who struggled were inward-focused.

They were consumed by their circumstance. They emotionally retreated from the group. They didn't ask for help. They felt sorry for themselves.

This experience seared two lessons in my brain:

1- Someone else is always in more pain than you.

2- When you’re struggling, find someone else to help.

I can think back to many moments in work or life where I did not do that. I turned inward. And it made the situation so much worse.

We are far more capable than we realize. We can do much more, and go much further, than we think. But unlocking that potential — that growth — requires us to go through some hard stuff.

And when you are, don’t turn inward. Look up and out. Help someone else, and you will help yourself.

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(If you're wondering, we covered 53+ miles in 24 hours. One of the simplest yet hardest things I've ever done!)

P.S. I’m working on a project and want your help. I’m looking for great American businesses or entrepreneurs who have a story that needs to be told (this includes immigrants who built / are building a business in the U.S.).

If that’s you and you want help getting your story out there — or you know someone who fits — reply to this email and let me know.

Thank you!

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Teddy is a writer and entrepreneur. He played college baseball at North Carolina, and is now chasing the dream of trying to get his golf handicap below 5. He lives in Chapel Hill, NC, with his wife and three kids.