Finding Joy in the Ordinary

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Now, onto Issue 65.

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Several years ago, comedian Jerry Seinfeld did an interview where he talked at length about fatherhood.

In the interview, Seinfeld was asked specifically about Father’s Day.

Does he do anything special to celebrate? Any specific festivities with his kids?

You’d expect Seinfeld, a legendary comedian, to respond with a funny quip about being a dad.

But he didn’t.

“I don’t need any special days,” Seinfeld said. “They’re all special. We spend a lot of time together, and I enjoy every second of it.”

There are a few simple, yet profound, lessons in Seinfeld’s interview I want to share.

Lesson 1: Find joy in the ordinary

We tend to glamorize extraordinary events.

• Closing a big deal

• Getting a dream job

• Selling your company

• The birth of your child

• Winning a championship

Those are all wonderful and deserve celebration. But those events are a tiny part of our lives. 

The truth is, most of our days are ordinary.

“I’m a believer in the ordinary and mundane,” Seinfeld says.

There’s joy in the ordinary.

There’s satisfaction in doing the mundane well.

Lesson 2: Relish the “garbage” time

Seinfeld doesn’t believe in the idea of “quality time.”

He thinks it’s a myth that misses the whole point.

“I always find that a little sad when [parents] say, ‘We have quality time,’” Seinfeld said. “I don’t want quality time. I want the garbage time.”

• Playing in the backyard

• Looking for birds at the park

• Watching a movie on the couch

• Eating cold ice cream on a hot day

• Reading books and laughing at bedtime

This is “garbage” time as a parent.

It’s the absolute best time there is.

Lesson 3: Eat late-night Cheerios

It’s easy to get stuck on the treadmill of life.

We get caught up in our goals and routines, and the days fly by.

Sometimes, we need to break the rules.

Here’s Seinfeld:

“You see them in their room reading a comic book and you get to watch that for a minute, or [having] a bowl of Cheerios at 11 o’clock at night when they’re not even supposed to be up. The garbage, that’s what I love.”

Garbage time.

It’s a beautiful description of what being a parent — and living in general — is like.

There are these little moments that happen every day, but we’re often too busy to notice them.

Busy optimizing every minute, we don’t allow ourselves to eat the late-night Cheerios.

I became a Dad four years ago.

My wife and I have two sweet little girls.

I’ve thought a lot about Seinfeld’s words since I first read this interview.

If I’m being honest, I don’t always find joy in the ordinary. I don’t always relish the “garbage” time like I should. I fall short of that standard.

But I continuously try.

Every Father’s Day, I return to this Seinfeld interview and the wisdom in his words.

There is no “quality time.” There’s just time.

And if we’re fortunate enough to wake up in the morning and get more of it, it’s up to us to make the most of the blessing it is.

P.S. Here’s my Dad and I at a Dodger game together this week.

Happy Father’s Day to my Dad and to all the Dads who read The Process!

I’d love to hear from you

That’s it for this week.

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Thanks for reading.

See you next Sunday.